Friday, 20 February 2015

A Letter To my Nigerian Lady - By The "Luv Doc" Kennedy

A letter to My Naija Lady!!!

My Dearest Naija Lady
I need to say this for one reason - I like you as much as you cannot like me. Eternity is a long time to start thinking of too early so why not start creating moments since they say it lasts forever. I would like an Indian woman, they sing very well, or maybe a Caribbean girl or Brazilian ladies off course you know why so don’t ask why. I have a little grudge too but I will still choose you and I will try not to make it conditional because you are the one. But I crave that you listen…


Firstly, I will not take you to the garden or a bar neither will I choose a rowdy place on our first date because I’ve got class and I know your worth and also because I want to hear your heart beat, know your desires and priorities especially when I look with so much confidence into your beautiful eyes but no long artificial eye lashes. Please……

We may decide to share a bottle of wine that has a little volume of alcohol but if you insist on something else, I will appreciate your decision, and then I know what you like and do not like. I am pleased that you are a moderate lady and not like some “Lekki Lady Wannabe” that will insist on a very expensive place and even have to do take-away for 2 of her friends- “you for just bring the friends to the date na...”  if you will not go Dutch my advice is that you go moderate- a real man works with a budget (forget what DJ khaleed said in his song “Hold you down”)  and moreover I wouldn’t want to spend so high on a first date, when I’m not sure if I would want more time with you.

My choice of location was basically to get your attention and drive home my message- if I am boring, forgive me its only my nature- do not start playing candy crush on that Android phone of yours and I have to repeat myself again and again.
I like the fact that you appreciate my calling you twice or ones in a day. No excuse on that even though I have a tight schedule after all I like how the first outing turned out even though I expected a good night peck or a hug at least but your hands were too full with the nylon bag of the take away- what can I do?. I called you when I got home and expected you to be on your bed and a nice tone creating an emotional atmosphere for us, but the music on your end was loud – glad you and your friends are enjoying the take away you didn’t pay for. …“Anyways good night” and call ends… “Now am lying down and feeling like have I wasted my resources”? What about my BBM pings that takes you like forever to reply? Well, I like you so I will still take you serious…

Surely I am moved by what I see, your shape is heavenly and my mind has gone places, appreciate my nature because I am human and it shows I know what I want and it’s you not any other lady. Please, you will turn me off when the table turns around and you are the one that talks dirty on a first date… it shows your choice of words and how I rate you and I may switch into the “thug in me” and you may just be another girl I hit and run… keep it calm with your dirty words, it will not make me yearn for you so fast or think you are a “dope chick”.

If you cloud my emotions so much and I start acting all caring and asking questions like … have you eaten? Are you home?… etc. that’s because I am only starting a conversation and looking for a way to get to the real questions and make a point, time will come when I will not have to ask all those questions and move to much more real questions like …what do you propose I do on this issue? How do I make this point on a presentation?

When I call you those sweet names too early in the relationship or as we get to know each other, I mean those names because you have shown me in such a short while how a sweet heart, darling, boo boo you can be. The facial reaction of “eww” will only make me think about how I should slow it down and it may affect my relating with you. Let me love you the way I want to and express it that way. Imagine if you start saying those words and I have similar expressions… sure you will say I don’t love you anymore!

The worse of all things I will want to tell you not to ever do is that…  I had a life before you, the fact that we got into a relationship doesn’t make us compatible to walk down the aisle. Do not ask me to start talking to your mom or sisters and calling their names in our conversations and I be like … who is that…? Don’t just think of eternity in a short while, think of moments and making our dreams achievable and we can find a reason to stay together longer than the fourth time we did “it”…well… we both enjoyed it.
I have a perfect picture and how I intend to propose to you… I bet you, you will love it and several media platforms will blog about it as epic. You don’t have to expect an engagement ring on every Valentine day or your Birthday, Christmas etc…

PS… I am not a fan of “and co” so please I will not sew similar cloths with you while we still date neither will I attend weddings with you every Saturday.

I hope you understand and work on this because I want us to work out well.
Best Regards
Kennedy Nkem Nwazuosa.