It’s been two or more other exes since the final goodbye that sapped out breath from me- this isn’t said with pride but to rescue myself from loneliness, there was three or more rebounds- despite my gasp, you turned your back with no remorse, squatting on the ground with my face down, there was a loud bang and that was you shutting the door.
Your footstep was so quick to fade off from my ears; I closed my eyes and can only imagine how wide your strides were. What wrong? How broken? What part of your heart was so damaged upon its thought you were determined not to look back.
It doesn’t come as a conscious thought when you randomly pop into my mind- it just happens! You played a pivotal role in my life’s movie; although our scenes were short-lived, would I say I look forward to you playing a different role with me in the future? Well (there is a higher force that determines things)…we were both handed this script- a script whose end we cannot know, but we can only skillfully manipulate. I thought you were my last but then the director had another twist and did not make any provision for our broken hearts.
I have moved on and wish you well but if all this sums up as missing you then it is unfair owing to how much connection and love I have shared with who am with now. It is justifiable to wail but then crying longer as well would only make us lose out on the audition to face our new separate role. Most times we needed that memory and experience to deal with the new role while engaging effectively with the new character. Though we may have ended in a bitter note, I hope you do not make the new character in your script a victim of compounded bitter emotions or carried away by how disguised the new character interprets perfectly that role lest you add to the statistics.
I was asked last night if I still miss you- I responded with a smile … “Everyone thought the last was the best until they became an Ex”. While my response may be contradictory, but with better knowledge and absence of emotions that clouded my sense of reasoning based on my relationship with you, I am a better person now and NO I don’t miss you at all. It was only a memory in a phase of our existence.
We both invited the media when all was rosy with our PDAs and as expected a vulture will always look forward to feed on your carcass- I’m sure they are satisfied, after all they didn’t kill us.
I hope you read this and have a memory on your mind because despite the media rants about our breakup, you still remain and occupy scenes that made up my life’s tale and as crazy as this may sound, you are both what Oxford or Webster defined an Ex to be and also a part of my life’s scene.