A letter to My Naija
Lady!!!
My Dearest Naija Lady
I need to say this for one reason - I like you as much as you
cannot like me. Eternity is a long time to start thinking of too early so why
not start creating moments since they say it lasts forever. I would like an
Indian woman, they sing very well, or maybe a Caribbean girl or Brazilian
ladies off course you know why so don’t ask why. I have a little grudge too but
I will still choose you and I will try not to make it conditional because you
are the one. But I crave that you listen…
Firstly, I will not take you to the garden or a bar
neither will I choose a rowdy place on our first date because I’ve got class
and I know your worth and also because I want to hear your heart beat, know
your desires and priorities especially when I look with so much confidence into
your beautiful eyes but no long artificial eye lashes. Please……
We may decide to share a bottle of wine that has a
little volume of alcohol but if you insist on something else, I will appreciate
your decision, and then I know what you like and do not like. I am pleased that
you are a moderate lady and not like some “Lekki
Lady Wannabe” that will insist on a very expensive place and even have to
do take-away for 2 of her friends- “you for
just bring the friends to the date na...” if you will not go Dutch my advice is that you
go moderate- a real man works with a budget (forget what DJ khaleed said in his
song “Hold you down”) and moreover I wouldn’t want to spend so high
on a first date, when I’m not sure if I would want more time with you.
My choice of location was basically to get your
attention and drive home my message- if I am boring, forgive me its only my
nature- do not start playing candy crush on that Android phone of yours and I
have to repeat myself again and again.
I like the fact that you appreciate my calling you twice or ones
in a day. No excuse on that even though I have a tight schedule after all I
like how the first outing turned out even though I expected a good night peck or
a hug at least but your hands were too full with the nylon bag of the take
away- what can I do?. I called you when I got home and expected you to be on
your bed and a nice tone creating an emotional atmosphere for us, but the music
on your end was loud – glad you and your friends are enjoying the take away you
didn’t pay for. …“Anyways good night” and call ends… “Now am lying down and
feeling like have I wasted my resources”? What about my BBM pings that takes
you like forever to reply? Well, I like you so I will still take you serious…
Surely I am moved by what I see, your shape is heavenly and my
mind has gone places, appreciate my nature because I am human and it shows I
know what I want and it’s you not any other lady. Please, you will turn me off
when the table turns around and you are the one that talks dirty on a first
date… it shows your choice of words and how I rate you and I may switch into
the “thug in me” and you may just be another girl I hit and run… keep it calm
with your dirty words, it will not make me yearn for you so fast or think you
are a “dope chick”.
If you cloud my emotions so much and I start acting all caring and
asking questions like … have you eaten?
Are you home?… etc. that’s because I
am only starting a conversation and looking for a way to get to the real questions
and make a point, time will come when I will not have to ask all those
questions and move to much more real questions like …what do you propose I do on this issue? How do I make this point on a presentation?
When I call you those sweet names too early in the relationship or
as we get to know each other, I mean those names because you have shown me in
such a short while how a sweet heart, darling, boo boo you can be. The facial
reaction of “eww” will only make me think about how I should slow it down and
it may affect my relating with you. Let me love you the way I want to and
express it that way. Imagine if you start saying those words and I have similar
expressions… sure you will say I don’t love you anymore!
The worse of all things I will want to tell you not to ever do is
that… I had a life before you, the fact
that we got into a relationship doesn’t make us compatible to walk down the
aisle. Do not ask me to start talking to your mom or sisters and calling their
names in our conversations and I be like … who
is that…? Don’t just think of eternity in a short while, think of moments
and making our dreams achievable and we can find a reason to stay together
longer than the fourth time we did “it”…well… we both enjoyed it.
I have a perfect picture and how I intend to propose to you… I bet
you, you will love it and several media platforms will blog about it as epic.
You don’t have to expect an engagement ring on every Valentine day or your
Birthday, Christmas etc…
PS… I am not a fan of “and
co” so please I will not sew similar cloths with you while we still date
neither will I attend weddings with you every Saturday.
I hope you understand and work on this because I want us to work out
well.
Best Regards
Kennedy Nkem Nwazuosa.
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